As much as I love the template I'm using for this blog, I have to say, I've found a new place to hang out in. So if you still want to follow me, you can send me a message, uhm through my shoutbox which is the yellow tab, or
since i personally think that's slow enough, what with the loading time and all, you can tweet me on twitter.com/apoljuice.
I've had fun here for the longest time and some more, but I think I've found the one place I really want to settle. It's simple and easy and it's my hidden home in the web.
See y'all when I see y'all!
Okay. Still under construction, but I think It's doable.
Okay so here goes.
Hi, I'm Apol, I'm 26 and I just had to put that icon up there coz it's so cool. Boring, insignificant, possibly dorky, but I honestly think it's cool.
I like strawberry jam, dried mangoes, pine-orange juice, dark cherry mocha and the new Honey Orange Mocha. I was going through a phase whee
I wouldn't sleep because our Internet connection had been newly set up, so I was staying up during the night and the day and the night and the day
and the night before I had to go to the office for my shift where I ended falling asleep for about 4 hours max.
I have FaceBook, and I'm getting sick of Farm ville, so I'm taking care of a new endeavor which is Cafe World. Doesn't really require much
and it's fun and something new.
I don't own a techie phone, although I wouldn't mind owning one. But I'm more of a basic, practical person. A new anything easily excites me
like a child to a new toy.
This blog is definitely going to a have it's own free verse page, and I'm planning on doing that soon, as soon as I stop diddling with
other websites and get to work on it.
No Widget apparently works for the old blogger, so I'll have to make do with this one.
This is NOT intended as the comments area, or the tag-board or chatbox, because there are designated tabs for the tag-board/chatbox.
You may comment on my posts at the end of my post and no where else! Since you're here, and the sites still under construction, you can
use this if you wish, for the time being.
Aww, phooey. I was working on a 'reconditioned' layout when my Photoshop went ballistic. Then it totally stopped responding. I was in the middle of editing the pictures. Good thing I saved in between editing. I have now located my Free Verse page somewhere on the blog. For me to see and for you to find out (sorry. smile.) But it's definitely there. And I learned that comments box actually have a character limit, although not explicitly stated. So now I'm going to have to find another comments box template to install in there.
I love this sick leave. I'm definitely going to miss it when I have to go back to work.
Well, now even Blogger's getting effed up. But I hope it wouldn't really mean much. I'll free verse here for a while coz now I have some thoughts that aren't related to work.
Oh darn, I just lost my thoughts. Thank God blogger doesn't have a character limit....
Or does it?
Sure as hell hope not.
Oh well, for those who found my blog, stumbling through the blog bush and other author's lives on the web, welcome, welcome, hope you enjoy it.
And YES I will be plagiarizing this layout. I'm really a sucker for notebook templates, paper templates, planners, that kind of thing. First thing I asked for when our christmas party came around was a planner. Not the little ones that you can keep in purses, and not the really big Five-Star-four-subject notebook types. Just your regular planner, ala Belle DuJour (because I didn't know Belle DuJour actually existed until I saw someone with it). But It was a pretty good planner, and if I had a cam, I'd probably be posting the picture on the net. But this for now. Pictures on my Blog actually Look good. I'll be doing that soon. Share a little something about me. And not the hidden faces kind that people do. One with my face splashed across the picture is what I'm going to put up there.
Enjoy the rest of the beginning! Coz there's more to come!
Getting on my blogger account reminded me that I wanted to try a typing game on Facebook. Instead, I'm trying to fill up a post, and at the same time, I'm playing Uno on Facebook right now. It wouldn't be nice if I suddenly exited from playing a game with them. I mean, it would seem impolite. And I don't want to seem impolite. So as soon as I'm done playing Uno, I'm definitely going to find a Typing Maniac typing game or something.
WAIT! I feel something coming on. I feel like I need to go to the bathroom. Darn. Phooey.
Sore eyes. Conjunctivitis. And when you're in the States, Pink Eye.
Aaaarrrgghh.. Rawr... Once again I miss a day of work, a critical work day. For me that is. Why? Because today is the day that I've scheduled to conduct MPR's for my agents and instead, nothing has been done. But anyway, enough of that. I'm not even supposed to be using the compuer. But I'm bored, and there's nothing to do. I better go to the hospital to get my eye checked. And i hate it when there's no doctor to look me over. Here I go.
This post is called: Free Flow Typing. Basically, I will stop thinking about what I'm about to write after this paragraph. I will type whatever comes to mind, possibly with no sense of coherence. Of course I will stop to correct typos and errors, but everything else is the next thing on the thread of my thought. Here goes:
So I didn't plant anything on Farmville that would grown within 6 hours from planting. Maybe I should've. All I've planted were those crops that grow in like a day or something. I still have 11 hours of harvesting my plants. It would be sad if I didn't harvest them tomorrow because I'll be away playing volleyball at the court. Anyway, we got a new cheap ass samsung phone. It's a good phone to have on hand when you need to be texting or calling, because frankly, that's all it's good for. So like whenever we don't have our phone on hand, we can use that phone. I wouldn't trade the phone I'm using now, the Nokia 3100 for my husband's phone. It's completely and utterly frustrating. The software is uber slow, and it takes ages before you can send the message to the person because it takes long to load the phone book, which definitely sucks if you're in a hurry. Another thing, I guess I could've bought a cheaper, better phone if I went to the mall, but the thing is this phone is like on credit. I just have to pay 500 per pay day so that I can clear out the weekly thing. Oh, I tried logging onto friendster and it said forbidden. I'm trying to figure out why. And then I tried logging on again, I was able to get onto the log in page, but after that the page said it was forbidden. I'm wondering, did friendster.com ban me or something? And even if they did, hey, I have an account on that page, they could've just told me I couldn't use the account or something anymore, but to ban me? I mean of course, that is only if they did ban me. Which I hope hey didn't because, helloooow, I haven't even used the thing in months. I've taken to adding to my friends' list online shops and boutiques. A lot of them have good clothes, but the thing is, Almost all of them have no sizes that I'm afraid will fit me. And then since I'm still in freeflowing mode, I was looking over some exes on face book. Well, glad to see they're over me. LOL.. Talk about misfit. So anyway, I saw this girl, and You know, yeah she does look hella pretty. I just hope they don't badmouth me to them gurls. I heated water for my husband for him to take a bath with. He still hasn't gotten up. Hold on a mo'.
While I was haggling my hubby to get up and take a bath, I was trying to look for the nail cutter because I'm dying to cut my nails and be able to type properly. Besides, when I'm scratching my face, it hurts because my nails are pretty long right now, and I can't type properly when they're long.
There's an item on my farm in farmville that I'm trying to sell, but can't because it turns out my server needs to be resynchronized. It worked when it did. Obviously I'm not thinking about anything deep, but I think I should do that as a sort of page, where I have a problem and do some free flow typing. Then I could just get all those thoughts out there and out of my head. I'll just have to remember how I posted them. It would really be a rice bowl this time. So I'm gonna end this because I just remembered, I would like to add some people on my blog and have something to read while I'm bored.
Marathon, I think not. But pretty healthy. Everything I was thinking right there on the post, as fast as my fingers could type and correct errors. Not bad!
Sometimes, I just hate my life. I hate the way it has become, the way things are going, I hate how I'm usually broke, how my husband and I fight to the point where we physically hurt each other. I hate how I've been living in my house for this long, and still it hasn't been furnished more than a couch and a dining table. I hate how I feel like I'm going to be stuck doing my job for as long as a job like mine is being offered, where you don't need a college degree to go to work to, where all you have to do is sit and take calls... Well as a supervisor, of course my job requires me to do more than that. I'm tired of trying to make ends meet, to pay for debts, to worry about what to pay for every payday, to see that my daughter isn't getting proper medical attention, and we're living hand to foot.
And it's tiring when this is brought up by your partner and reminded to you as if you've been doing everything wrong the whole time.
Sure, you've outgrown the petty-highschool-type fights where you get grossed out if he farts, or you don't want to talk to him anymore, let alone be seen within his distance if he makes an embarrassment of himself; where you wouldn't be caught dead getting back together with him if your friends think he's a dork, and you pick a fight with him because he continually forgets your monthsary or to call you before you turn in for the night.
But the petty fights you've come to know and love in the relationship become recycled into another form of fighting, one that is much more complex and up to snuff with your current relationship: now, the petty arguments are the ones about why your partner couldn't keep a portion of his or her salary so that when something happens, you both won't be playing beggars scrimping up for something to eat. Or why your partner can't make up his mind about his job, whether he wants to leave it or not. Or how he's been paying for rent, while you're allegedly not covering for anything at all. Sounds familiar? Well, if it doesn't then I'm sure it sounds tiring.
And I am ABSOLUTELY SICK OF IT.
I don't need any advise on how to 'save the relationship', or any advise on what to do to make him feel better. You have to admit, most of the times that you guys are fighting is enough to jumpstart the relationship and fix what needs fixing. The thing is, a little too much jumpstarting could be harmful and cause your relationship to suddenly stop dead in its tracks. Just a word of advise. ;-)
This sucks. My internet connection today is absolutely slow. The videos of YouTube aren't loading properly, I can't connect to my Zimbra email account, and I'm wasting time trying to get my Hypster account to play any of the music I have in it. Aaaarrrggghh.. Granted, the memory card has been upgraded to 1 gig, and the hard drive has been given about 180 gig, for some reason, Sundays must really make your internet connection go Whack. Well, I have shift tonight, and I better double check to make sure what time my shift is. If I'm not mistaken, it's at 11 pm tonight. I better go to sleep in a few if I want to wake up on time and get to work early. Besides, today is really disappointing me.
So as I was originally saying in an earlier post, the only way to remain free of thinking and ranting and raving is if I don't actually go and advertise my blog on Facebook. So from now on, I vow not to let avid Facebook Fans read my blog. Who knows who they know, and then tell. A simple post can turn out to be a controversy, what more an entire blog!
I just hate how people take things out of the air and look at you in bad way for it. Maybe they don't know me well enough. And then lo-and-behold, go around telling me, "Please, please, for both our sakes, explain to me what's going on with you, because I seriously don't understand." Well, I don't understand either. The truth is, I'm still feeling my way around the situation. I'm not exactly at home with it, my mind has already been preceeded by worst-case scenarios, and what-ifs that I know I shouldn't even be considering.
But who wouldn't? My predecessor tells me to slap them with everything I've got. They all need a good spanking, and frankly, he said, they're the ones who asked for it! And poof! There's my problem.
The need to be strict, the need to use power, to scare people. Of all things I don't like the most, it would be conflict. I know that conflict is a factor in everyday life. It helps sharpen you into something worthwhile. Maybe I'm not just that worthwhile, because all my life I've been avoiding it. The only person who I'd pick a confrontation with would be my husband. And other than that, I'm mostly like my boss: submissive. Tell me what to do, and sure I'll do it! Let me know when, and I'll be there! And when the time comes to actually lay down some ground rules, I so so so want to tell tham that, hey, I don't have any rules. You can do anything. Just remember, if you don't tell, I don't tell. I have no proof that that is working so far, but I hope that when I implement it, it would. Because I'd love to prove a lot of people wrong. You don't have to be mad to make things happen. You don't have to be angry, or bitchy, or mataray to prove a point. You just have to make them feel that they are old enough, they should be embarrassed for whatever it is they did to their team mates, and not to me.
I'm not sure who I should listen to. The bald man who left me his team definitely thinks that I should do what he says. I mean give him some credit, he's been the team's long standing TL. And he's close to a lot of them, so he would know.
SEGUE: I'm awfully sleepy. I think I felt that I really need to hit the sack. So let me put a lid on this for the time being. Take care out there! I'll be back as soon as I get up from bed to finish my Blog.
I have just now realized that the only way to have freedom of speech over the net, is not to advertise my blog. ;-)
Well, maybe not on Facebook. Unless someone has bookmarked my blog. But I wouldn't think I'm worth bookmarking anyway, I mean what can I say that could affect anyone?
Oh well, so much for that. On to much more important stuff.
So this guy I live with is being an asshole. He comes home late, he bitches around, and well, I'm not really in the mood for being nice. I mean he asked me if I wanted to buy some food for him, and he expects me to run downstairs with my tail behind my legs and buy him everything he asks for. Correction, he expects me to buy everything her orders me to buy. I, on the other hand, have to ask him, and haggle him, because hello, although I'm expecting him to do me a favor when I get home, I don't necessarily expect him to actually do what I tell him to do. Call me a bitch, but give me a break.
Anyway, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, I still haven't gotten a wink of sleep. I'm expected at my parent's house which I think is a total waste of time. I seriously don't want to go if it weren't for my daughter, and I do have her ballet lessons to pay for. (At this point I'm feeling a pain in my tooth, and I want to light a stick). But I gotta do what I gotta do. This isn't what I'm supposed to be blogging about. Let me start over with a fresh blog.
So while my blog is being posted here on this current skin, I'm still working on getting Adobe Photoshop installed in my PC so that way I can make my own skin, and not have to plagiarize what I've picked up.
Why does Internet life have to be a basis of things? It's not fair. I'm being judged because of my insights on the Internet. Give me a break. Well, there are two things I think I actually have to deal with:
1. People will judge you no matter what you do.
And when they do it usually isn't pleasant. It's more of being misjudged, a mistaken sense of your personality which they see outside of work, or away from school. And the ugly fact is that you really can't say anything bad, or it feels like you can't express your true emotions because the people who are judging you just happens to be the people whose perception of you matters most. It's hard to be judged wrongly, giving them the initial bad impression, even though you know things are going to pan out anyway in the next few days.
2. You can hide under a rock, or pretend to be someone else.
How this is going to help is fairly simple. You get to pre-cut yourself into their idea of a worthwhile person, of someone worth listening to, avoid saying anything that gets in the way, reserve all thoughts and ideas to yourself and hideaway in an uninterrupted blog so much unlike mine.
Which sounds so far from appealing, and is something you shouldn't even think about doing in the first place. But being in between self-respect, and the need to save face, and probably even having lack of possible solutions to make the people that matter think properly of you, will really drive you to pretend to be somebody else. So if you have any other ideas that you can live with and get around this dilemma, I'd be so glad to hear it. Maybe one that concerns work.
And I just realized something. Could it be that i'm misjudging that person and thinking negatively about him that makes me feel so inferior? That could probabaly it. But with the way I hear about things, who knows?
Oh, oh, oh, i'm sitting at home, sick, away from work. Missed a day of work. Unbelievable. My boss is going to kill me. KILL ME. I swear. Well, no, of course not. But come on, trying to get through the MONTH! And I keep getting into these petty, small, sordid details that make me do something to my attendance!!!
Unheard of!!!! I'm expecting my agents to come in even if they're sick, and here I am sitting at home, doing absolutely nothing! Well, suffering from cramps, but doing? Give me a break.
Man. Why? Why??? Every month it's always something.. I woke up late, I got sick, blah blah blah, the list goes on and on and on. Even the person with the worst attendance was able to have perfect attendance for the entire month last month, and I go eff it all up!
I used to miss the point why people were so into using Face book. It's like Friendster. You add people you know, and then yeah I guess it keeps you updated with whatever it is they're doing.
Well, all I really cared about was what was going on with the people I saw everyday. I really couldn't care much what the people outside a 120-mile radius from me were doing. First of all, they were really far away, Second of all, if anything every came up I guess I'd find out soon enough.
So I started a Friendster account trying to see what all the hype was about. Most of the friends I added were people I see almost everyday in school, most of them were high school friends that were doing things not even remotely connected to a history we shared. Yeah, I guess it was pretty cool to keep up with people that were overseas. But come on, what can you guys really talk about if you haven't seen each other in such a long time? Except I guess what's been going on in your life in the last 10 years, and then kaput, you go back to being "net-quaintances"
I'm not a big fan of small talk unless I'm really, really uncomfortable. But other than that, I think I hold up well on my own.
So the same goes with Facebook. The only good thing about Facebook is that I joined specifically for one reason: our highschool reunion was being organized through Facebook. With no other alternatives, I went ahead and created my account. The good thing about Facebook is I have so many pictures already, yet none of them have been taken by me. They're all pictures that friends tag of me. And I guess this is a much better way of sharing photos. I could put together a whole album and of people I like seeing, and guess what, I don't have to upload anything :-)
And I've been busy harvesting from my farm in Farmville, but that's another story. *wink!*